HYSTERVIBRANCY - MY STORY
This was me the day I was diagnosed with Cancer...endometrial cancer in the uterus (womb).
It was a tough blow that definitely knocked me for a SIX.
All the emotions, so many EMOTIONS
The GP actually told me first but didn't know enough of the details to explain it all and was
actually fresh out of Uni, so I think I was more worried about holding space for him than the other way around. But the next day I got to see the gynaecologist who explained things...
"It's not the aggressive kind, it's low grade", he said with an optimistic smile. "It
will require you to have a full hysterectomy"...WAIT, WHAT!?!
At that point, I completely shut down, disassociated from the whole event and went completely into my FEAR response of fawn, in other words, I HAD LEFT THE BUILDING!
Somehow I have always felt my female reproductive system was part of my femininity, and it felt so wrong to just have it all ripped out. Besides I held strong beliefs around keeping my ovaries, as my mum lost hers due to malpractice only a year after I was born. I had always said, I will NEVER have a hysterectomy. Yet here I am at the ripe age of 47 about to
lose my youth or so it seemed to me.
I'd already had my children and I am so very grateful I was fortunate enough to have them, however nothing could have prepared me for this journey I was about to embark
I knew there were learnings and growth for me through this experience, you don't become a trauma therapist without knowing a little about trauma and how it shows up, and
most importantly WHY it shows up and this is what helped me keep my spirits up.
I trusted that the words in my mind, 'why did this happen to me?', would quickly shift to 'how has this happened for me?', and as my journey began, they did.
I was grateful we found this early, although the waiting game on the urgent CT scans, surgery dates and so forth kept me on the edge of my seat for a few weeks.
Once I met with my surgeon (Gyneoncologist) I was given the news he was happy to proceed with the surgery given I was in optimal health for my age and when I asked about
keeping my ovaries, was told, that's not how we do things here.
In fact if you choose to keep your ovaries, our team will not perform the surgery! So I guess that means I am losing both ovaries, uterus, cervix and a few lymph nodes for good measure!
The days leading up to the surgery were nerve wracking and the emotions, they were on a whole other level.
My surgery day came and went and I was on the mend, but I had to muddle my way through. There was limited support, next to no information on what to do after surgery, how to manage my healing and what to expect and the pending doom of MENOPAUSE.
All I got was the call from my surgeon, three weeks after to let me know I had the all clear.
The cancer had regressed and didn't spread. I was so thrilled in that moment.
Until the menopause hit me like a tornado.
So here I am now having to work through the emotions of loosing my home of creativity to now be hit with menopause. Which to me felt like an old lady's issue, something I definitely wasn't ready for.
I'm sharing this for two reasons...
#1 - THE EMOTIONS
The emotions and memories of trauma that came up for me in those 24 hours told me I still
had some healing to do around my sexual abuse at age 7 and for all the times I felt violated afterwards.
All I could see in my mind was VIOLATION VIOLATION VIOLATION!!!
These feelings were here to show me something. The memories of the times I had been violated and that I hadn't healed my inner child just yet as id come to realise I'd only
partly healed and definitely needed to do some work with her.
This type of cancer happens more in women who start their period under the age of 12. Mine started at age 9 and I felt it had a connection to my trauma.
Trauma attaches to negative emotions and when left has the potential to manifest into the physical. So it is vital that we do the deep work we need to do to heal.
This was the beginning of the most profound inner healing I had experienced, and as I came through the other side, found my inner child dancing around my new home we were
building. At the time we had just started building our first home. It was a long time coming as I held beliefs around not being good enough for my own home but that's another story. So as I healed this trauma of feeling violated, my young self was showing me my home, my designs, my creativity was there, it was back. She was showing me all the places in my life that I had amazing creativity.
All this time I thought I wasn't creative, when all this time it was always there, I just didn't see it. This was just one of the profound learnings that came through after healing this part of me. My home of creativity was reborn.
#2 DIAGNOSIS & SURGERY
When you get your diagnosis and you have your hysterectomy, it is very rare your doctor will have you covered for everything, including supporting your body in the healing process, the menopause symptoms, the anxiety, the depression, your immune function and creating new daily habits and rituals that will support your body moving through this journey of self discovery.
A hysterectomy is not a walk in the park for most women, although our journey's will all
differ, we have one thing in common. We are entering a new cycle of our lives, a new beginning that can take a little getting used to. What may have worked for you in the past, may not always work for you now.
Just as you stumbled through adolescents, menopause is another change of cycle, where you may feel the discomfort of transformation.
I learned that I had to lean into the discomfort to see the gifts inside of it. I learned I had
to heal past trauma's to fully embrace this new cycle.
And that's where Hystervibrancy comes in. It takes all the guess work out. We support you in
your healing journey so you come out the other side often healthier and happier
than you have ever been.
Strong and able to manage the many stages of your healing from surgery to menopause and beyond.
If you would like to see how I help women break through the emotions, heal and transform
their lives to be better versions of themselves, making this journey a journey
of growth and transformation...book your free discovery call today!
Why do women facing a hysterectomy often
struggle with managing the emotional turmoil?
It's NOT what you think...
How I Faced the C-word, Needed a Hysterectomy, and healed physically & emotionally to find
peace & vibrancy in my life, like never before.
Meno Stage Program
The onset of menopause
after a hysterectomy is a well-known fact, but not all women are prepared for it or ready to face it and struggle to deal with it.